1). Which pattern (rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry) do you think would be the most difficult to change? Why? Which would be the most damaging to a relationship? Which would be the most potentially damaging to the self-esteem of the individuals involved?
Of these patterns submissive symmetry would be the most difficult to change.
The reason is that it is more difficult for a weak personality to take on stronger traits. Now if someone has a strong personality it seems more likely that they would fall into the “rigid” category, thus relinquishing control is less difficult than attaining it.
In my opinion, the role or pattern that damages relationships most is the submissive symmetry. Analyzing not only the frustration this stance causes to the receiver, but also to the sender.
It is the senders who does not stand up for themselves and try to constantly relinquish control who end up becoming dissatisfied in these relationships because they are foregoing assertion which damages the most component of relationships- self-esteem.
It is self-esteem that dictates how you feel about yourself. If you feel that you do not have the ability to make a tough decision, or even a menial one like where to go eat with someone else, then there could be a lack of confidence in yourself.
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HodgePodge85, I agree with you that submissive symmetry is the most difficult to change in a relationship. Like you said, it is more difficult for a weak personality to take on stronger traits. I think this is a very good statement. I am trying to imagine someone who is very submissive to take control over a situation. I think it would be very hard for that person to do. This might have positive or negative effects on the submissive person’s self-esteem as well. Do you think that submissive symmetry is the only pattern that is damaging to a relationship or can the other two be damaging as well?
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ReplyDeleteThank you for the compliment!
Without a doubt I believe the other two can be damaging. Off the top of my head I can think of several examples of each in my life, as I'm sure you could as well.
Perhaps I chose the submissive one because it is the saddest to me. I think it is sad when people sell themselves short.
Hodgepodge, I thought that your post was very interesting. I had not thought about submissive symmetry like that. I feel that sometimes a submissive person will change the way they are if the situation calls for it. It takes an extreme, but I feel that they can still change their ways. I think that it is important to not always be submissive or dominating in a relationship. I think that it is hard to achieve an even medium, because I believe there is always someone a little more submissive and a little more dominate in any relationship. I think that it is important to not let yourself get walked on in a relationship as well.
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